by Christopher Hivner

"John!"

"You're married?"

"Rhonda, just give me a minute with my son."

"You're married."

"He is, Rhonda," John said, wagging his head supportively.

"Son, can you come with me?" Henley pulled away from his girlfriend and shoved John out of line. They walked briskly over to an arcade, finding a corner to talk.

"What is wrong with you?" Henley yelled.

"Me? You're the one here with another woman."

"You don't even like Tess. What do you care what I do?"

"I don't like Tess or you. But Rhonda seems nice. She shouldn't suffer because of you."

"You think this is all funny. You . . ." Henley stopped talking, looking into John's eyes closely. "Shit, you're high."

"So?"

"Do you want to get arrested again? In another state no less?"

"I won't get arrested. The first time was a fluke." John started to walk away. Henley put a hand on his elbow.

"Do you still remember how upset your mother was? I sure remember the frantic call at three in the morning from her."

"Don't bring Mom into this and act like you care about her."

"Hey kid, I'm still your father."

John swung around and shoved Henley into the coin-changing machine. "Stop trying to be a parent, Henley; you suck at it. You've been using that 'I'm still your father' line on me since I was nine. All five times I've seen you."

A mall security guard was walking toward them, their upraised voices drawing his attention. Henley's eyes were shaking with rage and his fists were ready to fly, but he saw the guard out of the corner of his eyes. He took a deep breath and leaned into John.

"Be cool, Johnny."

"What?"

"There's a cop on his way over. Be cool if you don't want Rhonda bailing us both out." John started to turn around, then caught himself. He linked his hands behind his head, trying to relax.

"Look, I'm sorry," Henley said loudly. John was about to ask why he was shouting when he got it.

"Yeah, me too. Sorry I pushed you." John stuck out his hand and Henley shook it and patted John on the shoulder.

"Is there a problem?" the officer asked as he sidled up next to Henley.

"No, sir. We worked it out, just a disagreement."

"Over what, may I ask?"

"Parenting skills," Henley laughed. "This is my son. I gave him some advice he didn't like." The guard looked at John who smiled and shrugged his shoulders. The guard stared at him for a moment and then relaxed. He looked at Henley and shook his head knowingly. He said something quickly into his radio, while turning away. He stood close to John.

"You should listen to your father, son. He has the voice of experience." The guard winked at him and went back out into the mall.

*****

Standing on the slate rock, John Barber looked up at the stars. It was a bit hazy, but the big dipper was visible, hanging over him upside down, dropping its load on his head. John closed his eyes and let the dipper rain on him. He felt peaceful. A feeling that had eluded him much of his life, he almost didn't recognize it. His life-altering search was over and it was all bullshit.

"If figures," he said to the frog still croaking out a deep-throated song. "It turns out Henley Barber was just a loser who happened to have a kid he had no idea how to take care of."

Croak.

"You got that right," John sighed. "Life is a bitch." He jumped off the rock and started to walk away from the pond. He took a few steps, then turned back. He plucked the note from the patch of grass, holding it loosely in his hand. It was too dark to see the words, but he stared at them for a long time, imagining they were different. The frog croaked from the middle of the pond making John laugh. He looked up.

"You're right, my friend. It's time." He waved to the frog, turning to walk back to Tess's. He tramped through the weeds and trees, taking more scratches to the face. It had been a long, long night and he needed a hot shower, something to eat and a day full of sleep.

As John walked, he silently apologized to his mother Ruby for years of heartache. Her voice would always be in his head, trying to steer him to the right path. Maybe now he would start listening to her. He remembered when he was twelve and had had an argument with Ruby about not being allowed to go to a party Freddy Meeser was having. After both of them yelled at each other for fifteen minutes, John had said the wrong thing: If I was living with Dad, he'd let me go.

John smiled when he thought of his mom packing a suitcase with his clothes, calling for a taxi, and sending him to his father's house. The last thing she said was. "Have fun at the party."

Riding in that taxi to his dad's was the most confused John had ever been. When he got there, Tess answered the door but wouldn't let him in. He told her why he was there, and she piled him into her car and drove him back home. She was going to give John's mother a piece of her mind, until she saw the ice blue of Ruby's eyes and knew if she said a word, she would get clocked. John also remembered that Henley never even came to the door to see what was going on.

John reached the edge of the woods and immediately saw the flashing red light. He knew Tess had called the cops. He thought about going back into the woods, but then he heard Grandpa Dan telling him to use the brain God gave him. His head was overcrowded with voices, but if he would just listen to the correct ones, he would be all right.

John emerged from the trees and walked across Tess's lawn. The same two cops who had arrested him earlier were on the porch talking to Tess. The young, tall one saw John first and elbowed his partner who turned in surprise. They each took a step toward John who put his hands in the air and walked up to meet them.

"What's that?" one of them asked, pointing to the paper in John's right hand. John glanced at the note. He had forgotten he still had it between his index and middle fingers. Before the cop yanked his arm down to cuff him, John looked at Tess and let the letter go.

"He's all yours," John said. The paper sailed forward, then floated easily to the sidewalk.

* * * THE END * * *