by Kate Smith

"Didn't I see a park somewhere around here?" Holly H slowed and squinted through the window.

"Theft," pronounced the archbishop. "Now you're adding theft of public property to your various crimes."

"We are the public, therefore the property belongs in part to us and we're collecting our share."

"Specious."

"Yes, I know, but it's not as though anyone is going to stop us, are they?"

The Archbishop contemplated the curtain wrapped mummy-style from her ankles to her shoulders. "Probably not. You seem to have a knack for this. One can only hope you get what you deserve eventually."

"That's not very nice," Zac reproved. "There are mitigating circumstances."

"I can tell this is going to be good."

"I think you're in the wrong arm of the church, your Grace. You'd have starred within the ranks of the Inquisition."

"Also missed my chance at the Crusades by a few centuries," the archbishop agreed. "Confess these circumstances, my son."

"I think I like her, Hol."

"Too bad. You can't keep her." Holly H flicked the indicator and turned right onto San Lorenzo Magnifico Boulevard.

"Damn," Zac sighed. "Anyway, it's for a truly noble cause."

"True love," Holly H added, the Princess Bride quote automatic.

"In-con-ceiv-able," snapped Archbishop Grace Angelina.

"All right, all right," Zac said. "Potentially true love."

Holly H shivered and fumbled for the heater switch to combat the frosty silence emanating from the rear seat.

Zac propped his elbow on the back of the seat and faced their reluctant guest. "You're not convinced, are you?"

The archbishop slowly shook her head.

"Think of this as an adventure and if that doesn't work, consider all the material you're gathering for future sermons."

For a moment Zac thought he may have pushed it a bit too much but apparently the archbishop possessed a sense of humour and Zac had tickled it.

"Young man, you and your sister are at least a year's worth of inspiration. Pull over three blocks up. There's a highly attractive border."

*1:12 PM

A sweating Devon with huge black bags under his eyes caught up with them at the massive doors. These doors were so magnificent as to be called portals, actually, as calling them merely doors was being a fraction casual about slabs of carved centuries old timber.

"Everything's going according to plan," Zac soothed.

"Whose plan?"

"Or it will once one final impediment is removed," Zac said.

Judging by the way Devon forced his trembling hands to unclaw he'd been mainlining caffeine since midnight.

"It's a small thing, really." Holly H. examined the fingernails of her right hand. "Nothing to be concerned about, and will only take about a minute of your time to sort out."

"Our bill." Zac added an angelic smile.

The coffee-shakes stopped. A moment later Devon seemed to inflate, puffing up more than a balloon at a five-year-old's party.

"Ooo-ooh. You thought this would be pro bono?" Holly H. crossed her arms over her chest.

"Ah, Hol. Not a good look," Zac stage-whispered

Holly H. glanced down. "Hellfire." She unfolded her arms and shimmied her neckline into place.

An usher eased out of the central chamber. His bland everything-is-fine smile dropped the minute he hit the vestibule. He dashed to the steps and sighted along the avenue. Straightening his tunic, the usher grimaced at Devon as he tacked on his smile and retraced his steps.

Devon subsided but retained the wild look in his eyes.

"Devon?" Holly H. waved a hand in front of his face.

The Head of Security whipped out the latest in palmtop computers, accessed his accounting program and scribbled out an IOU made payable to Rogue Mapping for services rendered. The machine spat out a receipt which Devon initialed and jabbed at Holly H..

Zac claimed the slip and examined each and every word. Minutely.

Devon's hands formed claws and he growled long and low in his throat.

"Right," Holly H. said. She extracted a magenta disk from Zac's pocket and handed it to Devon. "Mind this for me, will you?"

Then she turned her attention to the doors.

Zac smoothed his sleeve. "I love getting paid twice for the same job."

"Technically it was two jobs," Holly H. pointed out. "Devon hired us to find Antonia, and Antonia hired us to fix things."

"Not that anyone will be asking. Ready?"

"Pity we can't take advantage of the Any Objections bit. I've always wanted to do that." Holly H. checked her neckline. "Let's do it."

Hinges squealed and then were lost beneath the crash of the cathedral doors juddering into the walls. The organ and choir stuttered to a halt. Holly H. and Zac stood on the threshold until every eye had stopped straining behind them to catch a glimpse of the bride and instead focused on them.

And nobody said a word.