Hypnotised, they all watched the duck. It plonked down, apparently reassured by whatever aroma Save-A-Door’s feet had left behind. They stared. It gazed. Walt was numb. Tinkerbell was the first to recover. She flew to the telephone then to Walt and then back to the phone. She did the same with Gwen.

Walt was not at his best. “She’s going to turn the phone into a cane toad,” he said dully.

“No,” Gwen said excitedly. “She wants us to phone someone.”
“A cane toad?”

“No, silly. Save-A-Door. It has to be Save-A-Door.”

“Save-A-Door,” Walt mumbled. “Ring Save-A-Door. Save Ring-A-Door.” He lifted the phone and dialed.

“Yeah. Wot?”

“Save-A-Door,” Walt said hesitantly. “Do you know anything about a duck? There’s, um, a duck here.”

“My duck! Thank gawd. I thought she’d been duck-knapped.”

“You own a duck?”

“Yeah. Why not?”

“Duck? You?” Walt said slowly.

“You don’t have to be rude.”

“I said duck.”

“It’s Matilda. Love-a-duck, she meant to rescue me. Look, I’ll just jump on me bike. See ya.”

Walt left the door open. His nerves couldn’t stand another rap, knock or twitter. A clatter of pedals forewarned him and, not quaking too much, he went to greet his friend. When Save-A-Door entered, the duck ran immediately to his feet. He hugged and kissed her. Neither changed into a toad.

“Thanks, mates,” Save-A-Door called. “Won’t stay.” He tucked the duck into a basket. He was about to pedal off but his foot hung in mid-air. “How’s this for sex ed: Duck in a condom.”

Walt shook his head. “Too subtle, mate,” he said, meaning the opposite.

“Oh, well.” Save-A-Door gazed fondly at Matilda. “Quack,” he said.

“Quack,” Matilda replied.

He began to cycle away. As they went, a blue glow followed.

After them hopped a small figure. It had come out of the shadows.

That bloody cane toad again! What did it want? Was it still after Save-A-Door? Can a cane toad have such an intent? Walt watched in fascination, tempted to call out. His friend was slowly pedaling across the street, Matilda, sitting primly in the basket.

Tinkerbell, probably not her real name but what else does one call a faerie, was zipping around them. The cane toad speeded up.

Suddenly, Walt realized that it meant to intercept the bike. With an increased burst, it suddenly leapt towards the duck.

“Quack!” went Matilda.

“Croak!” went the toad.

It dropped behind then jumped a second time.

“Quack!”

“Croak!” It missed a second time.

“Quack!”

“Croak!” It missed a third time.

Save-A-Door stopped. He turned and saw the toad winding up for a fourth jump. As it left the ground, he swung his leg. Squelch!

Foot and toad connected. Its round stubby body and extended limbs spun through the air. “Lay off!” Save-A-Door shouted.

But it wouldn’t. The warty figure once more bounded out of the shadows. “What a bounder!” Save-A-Door exclaimed. He cycled back. “Hey, Walt, you hold the bloody thing.”

“Quiet!” Walt hissed.

His was a quiet street but what with the shouting and quacking and croaking, neighbours had turned on their outside lights to see what was happening. Gwen took that as an opportunity to come out and wave to them. But seeing only Walt, Gwen and a bloke on a bike, they returned to their tellies.

So once more, Save-A-Door called, “Catch him!”

“Catch the cane toad!” Walt whispered fervently.

He chased it towards Gwen. She dived at it. The toad bounded into a bush. Gwen darted after it. Walt followed but ran into cobwebs. He stumbled back and fell over Gwen. They both sat heavily on the grass. The cane toad bounded away.

Pulling web from her face, Gwen spluttered, “You chase the toad. I’ll hold Matilda.”

Save-A-Door held out the duck. As Gwen reached for her, a warty rocket zoomed out of the shadows. It landed on the duck and they both fell to the ground. The duck shot off with the cane toad clinging tightly to its back.

“It’s riding bareback!” Walt cried, his neighbours forgotten.

“Of course, it’s riding bareback!” Save-A-Door screamed. “You think my duck should wear a saddle? Hey, you! Off the duck.

Duck, off!” He wiped his lips. “What did I just say?”

“Duck,” Walt snarled. Save-A-Door immediately dropped to the ground. Walt hauled him up. “Just duck,” he muttered. “Duck as in quack.”