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When the fire was out, Peter wiped his forehead and turned back to Sid. "You see what you're doing to us, Mr. Herbert? No, you must go. Quickly, please." Peter took Sid's arm and walked him to a large elevator. There was only one, down, button, and Peter reached in through the door and pressed it. As the doors closed Sid tried to jump back out, but he found that his muscles wouldn't obey him. The elevator started to sink. After a long time, it could have been minutes or hours or even days, the elevator stopped and the doors opened. Sid stepped out and found himself in a hotel lobby, facing a sign that read "Hotel Brimstone." The registration desk was straight ahead, so Sid walked over to it. Of course the clerk, a slender man with tiny bumps on either side of his forehead, was very busy shuffling papers behind the counter, and managed to ignore Sid for almost ten minutes. Anyone else might have given up and gone away, but for Sid a mere ten-minute wait was good service. Finally the clerk, realizing that Sid was not going to leave, put down his stack of papers and said, "Can I help you, sir?" "I just got here, I was sent down by Peter, and I have no idea where I should go or anything. My name is Herbert, Sid Herbert." "Oh, yes, Mr. Herbert. We received a message about your arrival. You'll be in room 1313. The maid is just making it up; it will be ready in an eon or two. Just have a seat in the lobby and we'll page you when it's ready." The clerk waved Sid toward a row of uncomfortable-looking benches. Sid went over and started to sit down on one as directed, but somehow his foot became entangled in the legs of the bench and he upset it, dumping the occupants to the floor. Instead of scattering across the room, however, they all rolled on top of the large demon in the center and knocked him unconscious by the sheer weight of numbers. Then, realizing that the demon was no longer guarding them, the former occupants of the bench got up and scurried out the door. The desk clerk pushed the alarm button, but at the first blow of the hammer the gong shattered with a loud crack. leaving the hammer to vibrate back and forth silently. The clerk grabbed the phone, but that was dead too. He threw the useless phone down and came running around the end of the desk, but ended up slipping on a small throw rug; he fell to the floor and knocked himself out. Sid, still trying to extricate his foot from the legs of the bench, watched in amazement. He was used to accidents happening around him, but this series of events was the worst he had ever seen. He shook his head and waited to see what would happen next. He didn't have long to wait. One wall of the lobby collapsed, revealing a swimming pool filled with molten brimstone, and millions immersed in it up to their necks. The three sides away from him were completely enclosed, but the nearest side was just a low wall. Guard demons patrolled the wall, prodding with their pitchforks any damned souls that approached too closely to the open side and freedom. The upper stories of the hotel were disintegrating now, and a large hunk of debris fell right on the edge of the pool, cracking the wall. A stream of molten brimstone squirted out and struck one of the demons a terrific blow in the chest, knocking him backwards out of sight. The crack widened to a gap, then progressed in either direction until the entire wall was gone. The resulting tidal wave of brimstone washed all the guard demons under the lobby of the hotel, but somehow didn't affect the souls in the pit. As the level of lava got down to their ankles, they turned and ran toward and through the back wall of the pool. Sid was flabbergasted. He had never seen such a collection of disasters. Was this simply his accident proneness, or was it something to do with the place in which he found himself? Suddenly, there was an even louder noise – the entire hotel collapsed around him, leaving him standing on one tiny bit of intact floor in a sea of rubble and debris. He looked around and realized that the area of destruction was widening, a vast, expanding circle collapsing into shards and dust. The sky was filled with thousands and millions of damned souls making their escape as the guard demons were caught in the undertow of destruction. In one direction, the tide of brimstone was lapping at the feet of an immense black iron castle. The castle itself was beginning to shake, but from the castle a superhuman voice said "Enough!" Everything froze. Standing on the balcony of the castle was a giant man, somehow both bright red and inky black at the same time. He had huge horns on His head and a long, pointed tail. Clustered around Him were a dozen or so of the guard demons. He looked around at the ruins of His domain, and finally His eyes fell on Sid. "Who are you?" He asked. Sid looked around, but there was nobody else for miles. Realizing that the being was talking to him, he replied, "I'm Sid. Sid Herbert." "You will address Me as 'Sire', or as 'Your Foulness', worm, or suffer the consequences. Tell Me, what are you doing here?" "Yes, Your Foulness, Sire," quavered Sid. "I was in Heaven, but things started to go wrong, so Peter sent me down here. Something about Original Sin, and how I was destroying their perfection, and I couldn't stay there. He put me on the elevator down to the hotel. I've always been accident prone, Sire, but nothing like this. Things just started to collapse around me." "Silence!" thundered the giant being. Then, in a more conversational tone, "Original Sin My cloven hoof! Peter never was very smart about these things. Original Chaos is more like it. You're cursed with a touch of what was there before the Seven Days. On Earth, or in Heaven, the orderliness of Creation keeps it in check. But down here things are a lot looser, and well, you see what has happened. Millions of damned souls escaped, and probably have been saved by now." Sid took a deep breath, perhaps to apologize, but had no time as the Being went right on. "This whole place is a wreck! It will take eight or ten eons just to rebuild the brimstone pool! No, you can't stay here!" Sid considered this, then asked, "But Your Foulness, if I can't be in Heaven and I can't be in Hell, what's left?" "Silence!" The giant raised His pitchfork and sent a ray of searing redness upwards into the void. After a short time, a beam of equally searing white lanced downward, then merged with the red to form a golden tube of energy connecting Hell with Heaven for only the third time since the Fall. Satan spoke, and Sid could hear whispers of a voice replying from the other end. Sid wondered if it was Peter or perhaps even Peter's Boss, but he was afraid to ask. After an indeterminable amount of time, the conversation ended and the golden tube vanished. The giant demon aimed His pitchfork at Sid, and again the searing red ray leapt forth. Before Sid could even think about trying to duck, he was enveloped in a universe of red, and all went black. # Sid's taxi'd had a flat tire on the way to the airport, which meant that Sid ended up arriving at the terminal barely on time. The girl behind the counter had been most unpleasant; when Sid had ended up fainting at the security checkpoint, he'd blamed the stress of the day. Then, he'd experienced a sudden, sharp pain in his chest – and had almost blacked out. A courteous airport attendant whose name badge read "Michael" noticed his discomfort and gave him a ride out to the gate in a little electric cart. Even so, he was delayed, and when he got there all the other passengers had already boarded. They were just about to close the door, but the girl at the desk waved him through on to the plane. He just had time to stow his bag and his jacket in the overhead compartment and take his seat before the pilot started to taxi out to the runway. From that point on the flight was ordinary enough. They ran out of Coke one seat before they got to him, and he had to drink ginger ale, but at least there were enough meals. One time before he had gone hungry when they ran out. The flight remained ordinary all the way to Orlando. Sid looked out of the window once in a while, but all he saw were clouds, ordinary clouds. The plane landed at Orlando, but not without a go-round. As Sid disembarked, he saw two men arguing about the landing. One of them, the pilot, had a name badge reading "Michael," and Sid thought he looked a lot like the other Michael who had given him the ride out to the gate. Sid wondered if he had somehow acquired a guardian angel named "Michael," but then laughed and dismissed the resemblance as a coincidence. As Sid left the Orlando terminal, he heard a scream. He turned and saw in horror that a large bus was veering up onto the sidewalk and heading straight for him. Then, suddenly, it stopped. Sid shivered in relief, amazed that it hadn't hit him. He would have been more amazed had he been able to see the invisible figure of Michael, directing a mixed crew of demons and angels working together in concert for the first time since the Fall. They had stopped the bus and saved Sid's life. They were determined to keep Sid out of Heaven and out of Hell even if it meant he would live to be a thousand. And
he did. *** END ***
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