by Katie Karian

Andrew Kite flew into office Monday morning, eager to start the work week. He used to love the weekends, but that all changed two years ago. Now the two days dragged like Hell, because he couldn't see her. Passing the cubicle he shared with Tim Evans, the other sales guy, he detoured along the outer wall and followed the blue carpet down to the tenth cubicle where the Goddess reigned.

The Goddess was petite with delicate ankles and wrists and pointy ears. Her eyes, when you could get her to look away from her computer, were dark green. She kept her silky black hair long and braided tightly down the middle of her back. The first time he saw her, he spilled his coffee down his chin and all over his tie. The second time, he tripped on a nonexistent wrinkle in the carpet and fell on his chin. The third time, he almost shredded his tie in the shredder. And ever after, he found himself doing inexplicable things like running into walls and pretending to laugh over jokes only he could hear.

This past New Year, he made a resolve that he would push all fear aside and find a way to get to know her. Talking to her was out of the question. He'd just go off babbling like a baboon. No. There had to be something they had in common. Something he could use to approach her. But after two years, he couldn’t even figure out what she did all day.

Andrew's blood rushed to his head as he passed her cubicle today and caught a rare glimpse of a logo at the top left corner. White Serpentine. Looked like a message board. A forum for people who did nothing but chatter back and forth all day to complete strangers whom they couldn’t see or hear.

He couldn’t wait to get back to his computer.

#

“So when I was younger, I used to take bike rides around the pavilion and it was marvelous.”

Marjory Walz grimaced at the words she just typed. What complete blather! It was a wonder she claimed to be a writer. This was hopeless.

She heard the telltale rush of somebody coming past and minimized her screen. She stared intently at the exposed order form. Look busy.

Tim Evans went by.

Marjory rolled her eyes. Those sales guys couldn’t hold their water. Sure enough, Tim rushed out into the lobby to use the single bathroom out there. One of those shy bladder types, she decided and brought the White Serpentine page back up.

“Forget that. I was a dull evil child who thought bikes were only good for throwing at the ducks in the pond.” Marjory smiled, imagining a heavy metal beat rushing through her head. “I always felt better afterward. If I didn’t hit a stupid duck, at least I caused a ripple. And people left me alone afterward too. Always a plus.”

She sent the message and minimized the screen. She’d wait five minutes and then check again to see if there were any responses.

Good thing she minimized, because another salesman went rushing past towards either the regular bathroom or the coffee machine. She squinted at him out of the corner of her eye and grimaced. Oh him.

#

Andrew shot a frantic look over his shoulder as he passed. He'd hoped to catch a glimpse of her screen name. DARN! She'd minimized the screen. He’d signed on with White Serpentine and was all set to start messaging the Goddess, but then he had to use a fake name. And then he saw that everyone else had fake names.

Weird stuff like –

Legolas9210, Lawlessnlove, frightLife, weirdlycatlike, etc...

He couldn’t think of a single name that the dangfanged website would accept. He tried his first name, his last name, and even his dog's name. Finally he gave up and used his license plate number. 9DZB46. A slice of genius, because later on if and when his online romancing of the Goddess proved successful, he could just tell her to look for him in the parking lot.

He killed thirty seconds drinking from the water fountain and then went back to his desk. Darn! She heard him coming and was now staring fixedly at her computer screen. In passing, he could see the White Serpentine logo shrinking down to her menu bar.

#

Marjory breathed a sigh of relief when Andrew Kite went past. He was gorgeous – without a doubt. Stylish, blond, blue-eyed, tall, thin, athletic, muscular, played golf but not obsessed, conservative (yes, she saw that bumper sticker on his car), and he had a decent job.

Problem 1: He was a coworker. Too much trouble and weirdness – especially if you broke up afterwards. And she was proud of being a breakup queen. She worked very hard for that distinction.

Problem 2: He had all of the looks of a potential suicidal murderer. He was good-looking and mild-mannered. And he never went with the guys to the bar after work. He just went out to his dark sedan and drove off into the darkness of night. He must go home to mother, to brood about life in general and plot to get sweet lovely girls, such as herself, over to his family hotel where he could first spy on her through a hole in the wall before slaughtering her in the shower.

#

Andrew tapped into the newcomer’s area of White Serpentine and searched madly for the first sign of the Goddess lurking. He thought he found her in the Fridge Area, which apparently was a forum thread reserved for people who wanted to talk about food. Somebody there called "DaGoddess." But no, that was too obvious.

Behind him, Tim started to whistle Dixie as he won another game. Andrew realized his screen was in plain view of his cubicle-mate and guiltily angled it away. He sighed and clicked into the “Literary Daydreams” thread. There were five-hundred White Serpentine members. If he found one Goddess there, it would be in his daydreams.