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While resting at the top of a mountain trail after an arduous climb, Bill heard a horrible scream coming from the bushes. “Who’s there?” he yelled. No answer. Dropping his pack, he pulled out a pistol. “I have a gun. So don’t screw around. I’ll use it if I have to.” A rotting corpse came out of the bushes. One arm and the top of its head were missing. It moved toward Bill. “Stop or I’ll shoot!” The grinning zombie didn’t stop. Bill fired eleven times. Still, it moved forward. “What the hell do you want?” Bill hollered, swapping the empty bullet clip in his pistol for a fresh one. “Root beer,” the thing gurgled. “Phew. For a second, I thought you wanted to eat my brain.” “I hate brains. I want root beer.” “Would ginger ale do? I have two cans in my pack. You can have both if you leave me alone. Promise?” “Yeah.” “I’ll throw them to you. Can you catch them—considering the fact that one of your arms is missing?” “Yeah,” the zombie said, couching like a catcher on a baseball team. “Show me how fast you can throw it. C’mon. Burn it in. Give it all you got.” Bill had a lousy throwing arm. But he didn’t want to antagonize the zombie. He wound up and threw a can as hard as he could. Unfortunately, it sailed over the zombie’s head, fell into the bushes, and exploded on impact. The zombie sprang to its rotting feet and growled. “Wait!” Bill yelled. I’ll throw this one underhand and real slow.” “No. Hand it to me.” Bill waited until the thing was within spitting distance, then he extended the ginger ale. The zombie grabbed Bill’s arm, and pulled it out of the socket. The shock threw Bill to the ground. While fading in and out of consciousness, he saw the zombie munching on his bloody arm as if it were corn on the cob. In minutes, only the bone was left. When the zombie raised the arm bone to whack his head, Bill gasped, “Please don’t…you’ll…fracture…my skull.” “What better way to get at your brains?” “You…said…you…hate brains.” “Did
you really expect a one-armed, rotting corpse with the top of
its head missing, on a lonely path in the middle of nowhere, to
tell the truth?”
***** END ******
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