On
our wedding day Joe promised never to leave me. I took his promise
to heart wrapping the words in a blanket of love instilling them
in my mind, a promise to cherish and remember.
Each and every anniversary, ten to date, my Joe repeated his promise.
Every time he promised I replied “I’ll hold you
to those words my love.” To which he added “It
is a promise I intend to keep.”
Suddenly Joes words came true thanks to the crashing of metal
and steel, thanks to a inept driver.
I only have my mind now. My body feels so funny. I can sense something
coming but can’t put my finger on it.
I am laying still, my body hurts, the pain is so immense. Wires
and bandages cover me entirely. I cannot lift my limbs they are
strapped down.
All I want is my husband Joe. He will make everything better.
I hear him enter my hospital room. I see him take his place in
the chair next to my bed.
My mind speaks. My mouth forms the words. Nothing is emitted but
air. The words stay in my mind
What I want to say is, “Joe, I can feel it coming that
last breathe, the last ebb of hope.”
Instinct tells me Joe has come to comfort me and see me off.
My mind is going, my heart is beating slowly, its rhythm reminiscent
of a dying engine
I have turned towards the window, the sun is going down, and it
retreats slowly. I view the hues of yellow, red, and orange until
they are gone. Then I succumb along with the view.
What is this--now it is all gray—I feel like I am caught
in the midst of a dense fog. I am also cold. I scream “Joe
I am scared and I need you.”
I continue to talk out loud , Joe Where are you? You were there
when I died, you were holding my hand You promised we’d
be together forever. You promised me I would be okay.
Joe I can hear you but can’t see through the denseness surrounding
me. Joe a light stands before me, but I am to scared to move,
I want to stay near the source of your voice. From out of the
light music floats, a sweet and joyful tune played on a harp.
I recognize it--. it is Amazing Grace. A hand reaches for me."
Joe I do not want to go. I need to be near you.”
|
