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The front gate, as usual, was unlocked. So I pushed my way in and wandered up to Sherise's door. Ding-dong. Silence. Knock, knock. Finally some shuffling noises coming from somewhere inside. Then the knob twisted and the door slowly swung open. At first all I could see was this kind of heavy gloom inside. Then, as my eyes adjusted to the dark, I saw her. Sherise was not looking so great. She was bone skinny, and pale as a corpse. She had these dark circles under her eyes that I'd never seen in all the days when we were together. "Surprise!" I said, trying to sound genuinely happy. "Guess you never expected to see me show up." She drew her breath in. Not sharply, but kind of slowly as if she wasn't sure how her lungs were supposed to work. "Lewis," she said, "what happened to your face?" "Oh don't worry about that. I work for an engineering company these days. Surveying, Sherise. Lots of tromping around in the forests up north. You get nicked up occasionally. Nothing a little time can't heal." I touched my face and felt the scratches. They were hot and a few of them were running again. Had I scratched at them on the car ride over? I couldn't remember. "What are you doing here?" she said. She had her arms wrapped around her chest. Her fingers were digging into her biceps. "I left a message earlier. I guess you must not have gotten it. I was just passing through town on some business and I thought I'd pop on over to say hi. Maybe we could go grab a coffee or something. I'm due back in Eureka pretty soon, but I should be able to hang out for an hour or so. What do you say? Coffee. My treat." "I got your message, Lewis. I don't think it would be a great idea right now." "Sherise, let's not let the past fuzz up the present. I'd really like to talk for a bit and see how you're doing." "How I'm doing?" She stepped back from the door, but I don't think she was inviting me in. Besides, I didn't really want to go inside her apartment anymore. It looked so gloomy in there, so dark and depressing. I stepped backwards so she'd feel more free to come outside where the sun was shining. "How am I doing?" she said. "That's a really great question. I think the answer would have to be pretty awful." She blew a loose strand of hair out of her eyes. "Let's not wallow in all the stuff that went bad," I said. "Don't you think it would be better to look forward?" "Yes," she said, a light finally coming to her eyes. "Let's not think about the past. Right, Lewis?" "My sentiments exactly." "Because, of course, the past had some pretty black moments, if you'd care to recall." I didn't like the tone in her voice. It was razor-edged with spite and all of it was directed at me. "Come on now," I said. "Where's the Sherise I used to know? We had some pretty great times." She looked left and then right, as if she were scared someone nearby might be listening. Then, really quietly, almost in a whisper, she said, "Our child, Lewis." Oh boy. I had been hoping that this would not come up. Why do people always remember the most monstrous things? When you let yourself get tangled up in all the ugly memories, that's when you get bogged down. That's when the past becomes a snare. And you'll never chew your way out of it. "Our baby," she said. Her voice was rising. She was talking now a little louder than I would have liked. "Please," I said. "Don't," I said. "A North Hollywood dumpster. Remember that, Lewis?" God damn that bitch. Seriously. Why did she have to go dredging up all this shit again? I was really hoping this would not happen. "That was your idea, Lewis. And then you left. You left town and I haven't heard from you since." She bit at the side of her cheek for a few seconds. "How can you stand there and act like none of that ever happened?" She was hysterical, clearly. There would be no talking sense to her. There would be no coffee. No pleasant conversation or hitting the sheets for a quick tumble. No light-peck-on-the-cheek and see-you-around and let's-keep-in-touch. This whole reunion had gone straight to shit. "Maybe I'd better leave," I said. She nodded. "Yes. I think I would like that very much." Sherise always knew how to cut a guy down. Chop, chop, chop and you were lying on the ground, dead and dying, ready for kindling. I turned and left. There was nothing else for me to do. Don't try to tell me there was any sense in sticking around at that point. Because there wasn't. +++++ Before leaving town, I got in touch with Tiny again. It was about four thirty in the afternoon and I had a hell of a drive ahead of me. Coffee and Mountain Dew weren't going to do the trick anymore. I used some of the money from my windfall to score an eight ball. Tiny was cool about it. All business, no pleasantries – though I had already expected this, so it came as no great shock. I hadn't done blow since I'd left LA and the first toot was a real ass-kicker. Took me completely by surprise. But you get used to these things. They become second nature, after a while.
It's now going on midnight and I'm still a few hours shy of Eureka.
My plan thus far has been relatively snag-free, I'm happy to report.
Though there will definitely be some explaining to do once I get
back. My absence from work; the missing company truck; and the
extra miles they're sure to find on the odometer in the morning.
Those will require some smooth talking from old Trigger, no doubt.
And, yes, the fact that there's no longer a rearview mirror on
the truck will raise some eyebrows. Frankly, I’m not sure
yet what to tell them about that one – though the truth
is simple enough. Because, see, just outside LA I got another
screaming case of the Skeebers. Really bad this time. So I tore
that rearview mirror right off its bracket. I tore it off and
threw it out the window without stopping because I was afraid,
if I looked in it, I might see the reflection of my face.
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