|
|
"Aww," she cooed. "He's too cute to cook. Look! He's got furry feet. Betcha my sisters'd love one of 'em." She elbowed Freddie Mac while giggling. "Ya gonna give me buildin' permits?" Freddie Mac asked. "No. Your plan to build houses will destroy the character of the Shore." "Don't care wot happens to the Shore. I can make a pile of money from rentin' the houses." "I like the idea of the roads, and the casino will provide a lot of jobs, but the houses cannot be allowed." Frido folded his arms across his chest. "They will increase the population and the pollution." Frido hoped his voice carried more conviction than he felt. "Freddie Mac needs the rent money." Fannie Mae took a foot-long rasp from her purse and filed her three-inch nails. "I'm expensive." "The Shore will fight." "Fight, shmight. The Shore don't got any troops and I ain't changin' plans 'cause a bunch of midgets get mad." "We have allies, you know." "The dwarf and the elf?" Freddie sneered at Frido. "And Mamzer? I'm surprised the old fool never blew off a foot wid a spell." Frido's stomach clenched like a fist. How did Freddie Mac know so much about the others? The yuk must have spies keeping watch on his house. Freddie Mac waved a hand and gave Frido a grin. "I was hopin' ya would play ball. I bet the next mayor'll be happy to work wid me." "You plan to assassinate me?" Frido had trouble breathing. "Naw. Ain't gonna waste a prime candidate by killin' him. Gotta much better plan." Frido felt slightly better that Freddie Mac didn't plan a murder. "Wh . . what plan?" "Fannie Mae's got five unmarried sisters, see. All moochin' off me. I'm gonna kidnap ya and throw ya inna room wid all of 'em. Ya don't get out 'til ya pick one of 'em to marry. To live happily ever after." "Or not." Fannie Mae exploded into laughter. Frido could only gape at the pair of yuks as he shuddered at their hideous plan. "But don't get yer hopes up," Freddie Mac said. "Fannie Mae's the only pretty one in the bunch. Her sisters are real ugly." "Ain't this a great plan?" Fannie Mae asked. "It'll be the third sister we get rid of." She draped an arm over Freddie Mac's shoulder. "Maybe we can get him to marry two of 'em." "Wotta gal." Freddie Mac pounded her on the back. "Brains and good looks. The yuks stood up and walked toward the door. Freddie Mac paused and said, "Some night, real soon, I'm gonna come and get ya. Ya should pack a bag so's ya ready." Howling with glee, they left Frido shaking with trepidation. The outer leaves on the Shore-shrub turned black and curled up. When Frido returned home, a dejected Mamzer shuffled the rings around the kitchen table. "How'd the meeting go?" Dementia asked. "Terrible. Freddie Mac won't give up on the houses." "That's good," Gimlet said. "Now I'll get a shot at carving some yuk heads." "He also promised to kidnap me some night and make me marry a yuk gal." Frido shuddered at the thought. "That's terrible!" Dementia said. "Yeah," Gimlet added. "With a yuk wife, you're probably gonna die of food poisoning 'cause they ain't too good at cookin'. He patted the blade of his ax. "But I'll make sure you don't end up with a yuk bride." "Any progress?" Frido asked the wizard. "I'm still taking the measure of the artifact to compensate for the lack of an operating manual. I feel it is time I experimented with various configurations." He stood and walked to the wood pile where he grabbed a birch log. He balanced the log on one end and slid the rings over it. "What are you doin'?" Gimlet asked. "I'll try a tower configuration. The log keeps the ring tower from sliding apart. If this doesn't work, I'll try something else." He flapped his hands at his companions. "Stand back. I need quiet." Mamzer pushed up the sleeves of his robe. Frown lines filled his forehead. He closed his eyes and said in a loud, commanding voice. "Begin!" He squinted with one eye at the rings. Nothing happened. He closed his eyes again and held his arms outstretched, "I command you to respond to me." The rings squirmed and rotated slightly. "Hah!" Mamzer assumed a smug look. A wisp of smoke rose from the log. "What's
it doing?" Frido felt the hair on his neck rise. He didn't
fancy a kitchen fire. |