by Hank Quense

Dementia sang:
"I don't mind sticks and stones,
Or even broken bones,
But I don't like toast,
And I won't be a roast."

"That ain't funny, girl," Gimlet said.

"Let me know how this turns out," Dementia yelled. "I'm leaving."

"Flee!" Mamzer screamed. "Flee for your lives."

Frido retrieved the lower rings using the spear shaft. His elation at his partial success deflated when he peeked at Wygga and saw her tail moving backward. He jumped and the shaft touched an upper ring. It rocked back and forth.

Frido jumped again and missed.

Wygga's rump backed out of the tunnel.

"Where'd the lizard get to?" Gimlet yelled. "There she is. Here's a rock for your treasure pile, frog-face."

After an angry yelp, Wygga completely disappeared into the tunnel.

"Come now," Mamzer said. "A dragon this old can't still be flammable. Move forward you two. I'll be right behind you."

"Hey!" Gimlet said. "What's she doin' now?"

"Out of my way!" Dementia screeched.

"Flee!" Mamzer screamed. "Flee for your lives."

Frido tried again. He knocked a ring off its peg and snatched it out of mid-air. Wygga's hind legs reappeared in the cave. He took a gulp of smoky air and leaped. He hit the ring harder than he wanted to and it soared off the peg. Frido reached for it, but it was too far away and it landed with a metallic clank.

"Who's there?" Wygga roared. "Another thief?"

Frido, with three rings looped over his forearm, chased the fourth. He snatched the rolling ring and ran towards the escape tunnel. From the corner of his eye, he saw Wygga's head turn in his direction. He dove behind a boulder just as Wygga belched a ball of fire. The flames passed over his head to blacken the wall behind him. Frido scrambled to his feet and ran. He reached the tunnel entrance a moment before another blast of flame engulfed it.

Back from the quest, Mamzer laid out the five rings on Frido's kitchen table. In addition to the black one, the others were colored red, yellow, blue and green. Frido cooked a slab of bacon in a skillet and filled the room with its aroma.

"Now what happens," Gimlet asked.

"I'm not sure." Mamzer stoked his chin.

"You have the rings, so use them." Dementia ran a comb through her hair, removing the detritus of life on a quest.

"The rings are inert until I can properly configure them."

"So what's the problem?" Gimlet asked.

"Frido didn't fetch the owner's manual. As a consequence of his partial retrieval, I have to use trial and error to find the proper set up."

"There wasn't any book in Wygga's den." Frido slammed the skillet on the stove.

"How long will this take?" Dementia asked.

"These things can't be rushed, you see. I'm dealing with an artifact of extraordinary power and I must use caution."

"I better see Freddie Mac and try to gain some time." Frido sighed in disappointment. Despite a successful three-week quest, they still didn't have any means to dissuade the yuk from destroying the Shore. He pictured his Shore-shrub still in brackish water and infested with mites.

Frido walked towards his office in the central market area of the Shore. Ancient oak, elm and plane trees shaded the lane and a gentle breeze blew against his back bringing smells from the beach and the fishing piers. He nodded to every one he saw, all of them half-pints. Produce, meat and fish stalls lined the streets in the market area. In front of two open-air restaurants, folks ate breakfast, drank tea, read newspapers and gossiped. Under the yuk plans, this pleasant and bucolic atmosphere would be replaced by mobs of mixed races.

Frido entered the borough hall and made his way to his office in the rear. He heard the harsh voice of Freddie Mac brow-beating his bailiff. A second squeaky voice puzzled him.

"There he is," the bailiff said, pointing at Frido just before fleeing the building.

"Hey! ya little runt!" Freddie Mac's booming voice reverberated through the building. "Ya finally come to yer senses?"

Frido sat down in his office and sighed. Today promised to be long and wearisome.

Freddie Mac filled the doorway. As always, the raw ugliness of the yuk shocked Frido. His eyes, black with red irises, radiated cruelty. Green-skinned and huge with a massive bald head, Freddie Mac wore only canvas pants. Clumps of black hair dotted his powerful chest and thick arms. "I brang me girl friend on account of because she ain't never seen a half-pint before and I was tellin' her how good they taste when cooked proper."

Freddie Mac walked into the office and took a seat while Frido gaped at the girl friend. As tall and as wide as Freddie Mac, she carried a large leather purse on a shoulder strap and wore a short-sleeved white blouse with a black mini-skirt. The skimpy outfit left acres of skin exposed, all of it bulging with muscles and a few patches of black stubble. She flipped a hand through her long blond wig and chirped, "Me name's Fannie Mae. Pleased to meetcha." She slouched past Freddie Mac and wiggled into an empty chair by a round window with a view of a brook and a stand of silver birches. The chair groaned in protest.