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"No, but that is why we're here. To go on a quest to acquire a powerful magical artifact." "Ain't no artifacts left," Gimlet said. Mamzer straightened his shoulders and stared at the dwarf. "I have discovered the location of such an artifact." "Hah!" Gimlet responded. "I've spent years researching this very artifact." "And then I suppose someone told you where it is?" Gimlet cocked an eye at the wizard. "Er . . . that merely validated my research." "What is it that we seek?" Dementia asked. "A set of rings. There are five of them but we only need to obtain four, because Frido has the fifth one hanging on over his fireplace." "I do?" Frido turned to look at the black metal ring. It had hung there as far back as he could remember. "Fetch it and we'll take a look," Mamzer said. Frido pulled his chair to the fireplace, stood on it and took down the ring. He ran a finger over the smooth cold surface. He gave it to Dementia. "Made from pure mithril," Mamzer said. "It's black instead of silver because of a spell cast when it was made." "What do these runes say?" Dementia handed the ring to Mamzer. Mamzer held the ring up to the light and peered at it. "Improper use of this device can cause stomach cramps, nose bleeding and/or dizziness. Bah! Standard warning label for a Class III artifact." "So tell me, Mamzer, why do we need a smelly dwarf?" Dementia removed her harp from its case and softly plucked the strings. "The other rings are in the possession of a dragon," Mamzer replied. "A doughty dwarf axman may come in handy, even if the dragon is old and feeble." "Goin' onna quest with an elf-maiden should be lively," Gimlet said. "Puleez! When was the last time you took a bath?" "Two months ago." "Really? That recently?" Dementia arched an eyebrow. "Fell inna river but I got all wet and that's what counts, ain't it?"
Accompanied by her harp, Dementia sang in a deep voice: "Your attention please," Mamzer said. "We must leave immediately so that we can return before the yuks do irreparable harm to the Shore." Frido thought of the Shore as a rare, delicate shrub; his Shore-shrub. His job as mayor was to protect and nurture the plant. He had mixed feelings about the quest and about the help he was getting since Mamzer wanted all yuk activity stopped, and then there was Gimlet. The dwarf oozed violence and that made Frido very apprehensive. All in all, the Shore-shrub now stood in a foot of brackish water. Ten days later, Frido lurked in the shadows of a narrow tunnel and observed Wygga, a red and gold dragon. Very little armor scale remained on her thin, gaunt body. She slept on her treasure pile: several gold coins, trinkets, brass flagons gone green with age, broken plates and well-chewed bones. A coal fire blazed in a hearth carved into the rock wall and a pile of coal lumps sat alongside the fireplace. Coal smoke permeated the cave, tickling his nose. Frido struggled to suppress a fatal sneeze. On the wall opposite, four rings dangled from five pegs arranged in two rows. The top row had three pegs with an empty middle one. Frido was surprised the dragon didn't hear his pounding heart. Mamzer's plan called for the other three to enter the main tunnel and distract Wygga so Frido could filch the rings. The plan sounded good when he was outside the cave but now he had serious doubts about it, and the longer he waited, the more flawed the plan seemed. "Whazzat?" Wygga's head came up, cocked to one side. Frido heard distant, muffled voices. "Thieves!" Wygga stood up. "I'll teach them a lesson." She limped to the coal pile, grabbed a mouthful and swallowed. "Ugh!" Wygga shuddered as she slithered into the main tunnel. As soon as her head disappeared, Frido slipped out of the tunnel and crossed to the ring wall. He gathered himself into a crouch and sprang up. He missed the lower rings by a good margin. Frantic, he glanced around the cave. "I thought we were supposed to meet a dragon," Frido heard Gimlet say. "This one is just an overgrown lizard." Wygga roared. Frido wondered if it was from indignation or indigestion. Only the tip of her tail now remained visible. "Hey!" Dementia said. "You told us the dragon didn't have any fire left. So why is smoke coming out of her mouth?" "Uh-oh," Mamzer said.
Frido found a broken spear shaft. |