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“A dog-walking business,” Jack sighed. “I guess there’s no room in the world for a friendly dog-walker.” He opened the door and invited the clown inside. “I suppose I have a few minutes to talk … have a seat.” Jack shut the door behind Bubbles and rubbed his hands together. Bubbles sat at the vinyl chair in front of Jack’s desk. “No no no -” Jack protested. “That’s my chair. Don’t ever sit in my special chair.” Bubbles stood up and took the seat that Jack was pointing to, a tiny yellow plastic chair like in pre-school. Jack took a seat in his special chair and leaned back, folding his hands in front of him and giving the clown a quick once-over. “So are you a private business? I mean, are you contracted out by a company?” “Private.” “Interesting. Business been good lately?” “It’s been all right.” “Where do you find your clientele? Do you advertise?” “I’ve got an ad in the phone book with a coupon.” “Hmmm.” Jack sat back even further in his chair and daydreamed for a moment. “Listen, kid … there’s a whole lot more to life than business.” Jack nodded, although Bubbles could tell he wasn’t listening. “I mean … it’s your eleventh birthday for Christ’s sake! Go on and celebrate.” “Bubbles - that is your name, right?” “Yes.” “Bubbles, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave. But it’s been a pleasure and I hope you have a wonderful day.” Jack helped Bubbles out of the miniature yellow chair and showed him the door. He offered him his hand and Bubbles shook it, a puzzled and amused expression on his face. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to ask you a few questions. Come back if my mother doesn’t tip you - she’s a frugal and forgetful woman, but damned if I love her.” Jack shut the door on the clown and went back to his desk, scribbling on scratch paper madly for the first time in weeks. He finally had an idea worth writing down. Two weeks later Jack launched his second business after posting the name in the fictitious business name statement page of the free paper. It was called Clownin' Around, the only company that offered clowns and parties done by children, for children. That was his slogan and Jack published advertisements with coupons for half off the first party. For the first time in weeks, Jack had appointments with clients and he couldn’t wait for the money to roll in. His mother drove him to the costume shop in the city and helped him choose three good outfits for parties, locate red clown noses and oversized shoes. She even smeared the clown makeup on his face and tied his shoes before he went out to entertain. The first job that Jack had was a small family party for a six-year-old girl. There were only three children there, and all the adults were on the back patio drinking martinis that the kids could smell from the living room, laughing like hyenas. It was more like babysitting than clowning and the kids asked a lot of strange questions, like what does a clown look like naked? All in all, Jack was very annoyed by the experience and ended up reading a finance book in the living room while the children watched the Disney Channel. When Jack went to collect the money, the father was too stumbling drunk to find the coupon and Jack refused to let it slip. “You pay full price,” Jack said, his arms crossed. “Goddamn dwarf clown …” the father mumbled, and handed him three twenty dollar bills. “You’d better’ve made those kids happy.” “Of course, sir,” Jack replied courteously. He walked outside, where his mother was waiting in her station wagon. Jack took off the red nose, shook his hair and hopped inside. “How did it go?” asked his mother. “Oh, let’s just say I think I chose the wrong field. I don’t work well with children.” “That might be just as well, honey. Remember Bubbles? He’s been leaving threatening messages for you all day long, saying you’re stealing his business.” “Damn Bubbles!” shouted Jack. “He’s the whole reason I’m in this mess.” “Why don’t you try something simple, honey? Mow lawns or wash windows. Make your own lemonade stand. We have a lemon tree in the back yard.” “No. I need something that’s never been done, something new and fresh.” His mother pulled into their driveway and the garage door moaned and opened automatically. Mrs. Cash inched the car inside and turned off the ignition. “Well, honey, I’m very proud of you.” Jack opened his door and trudged inside the house, shedding his enormous clown outfit and leaving his mother to trail in with brown grocery bags behind him. “I’m going to bed,” Jack yelled at her. She didn’t respond and must not have heard him so Jack dragged his feet to his bedroom door and slipped quietly inside. Bubbles was sitting on his vinyl chair, fat and wearing a Hawaiian shirt and no clown makeup. Jack dropped his clown garb on the floor and stared at Bubbles from behind a face of white makeup. “Get out of my chair,” said Jack. “Make me.” “I’ll be happy to phone the police and have them help me.” “I’ll
bet so. You little worm, you took my idea. You think there’s
room enough in this city for two clowns? You’re wrong, pal.
This is my territory. I could crush you in two pieces if I wanted.” |