|
|
I woke up in the middle of the night. There wasn't any shouting though. I saw up confused. Ellie was gone. I guess I panicked. I crept though the living room and out the door. I bolted for the brook. She was sitting there holding the frog. She was like the moon itself. White and gleaming, I mean. She was in her nightgown. She must have put in on when I was asleep. Her hair was over her face and she was bent over tight. She looked up at me. Her eyes were so clear. "I'm going to be a frog," she said. I coaxed her back in the house. Everything broke loose the next morning. I woke up to screeching and plenty of it. It was coming from outside though. Ellie! Where was Ellie? I heard a high little scream. I bolted outside. Dad and mom were faced off at the car. The door of it was open. Ellie was in the middle. The each had an arm and were pulling like she was a wishbone. I swear I heard something break. I was hurling forward. I both felt it and saw it somehow. I don't remember deciding to move. There's a bit of a blank and then Ellie was in my arms sobbing. Mom and dad were still yelling. Some of it was at me. I didn't care. Ellie was okay. She sobbed into my shirt and I patted her hair the best I could. Suddenly, something got decided. Instead of trying to split Ellie down the middle, they were going to split us. My father ripped hold of Ellie. He tore her out of my arms and she was screaming like someone tore her skin out. Mom got hold of me. I was tossed in the car. Ellie was screaming and kicking and I tried to claw past mom to get to her, but she shoved me back and got in the car. The door slammed just as dad's fist bashed Ellie's cheek. I think I screamed. I'm not sure. I know I went for the door again and got it open, but mom grabbed me back. I went for it again. Dad was having as much trouble with Ellie. She was a strong little thing. And she was mad. I heard dad yell as her foot got him hard between the legs. I tried to get past mom, but she slapped me back. My eyes went white for second. Then I saw Ellie running for the front of the car. She was grabbing for the hood screaming, when mom punched the gas. I had to get to Ellie. I don't remember how. I think I punched through the window and flopped out of it. My hands were sliced up real bad, but I didn't feel it at all. All I saw, all I felt, was Ellie. I crouched down by her. I was crying. I couldn't help it. There was blood coming out of her mouth. I patted her hair again. Her head was bleeding and there was more coming out of her ear. Her neck looked funny. I knew I couldn't help her. I don't think anybody could. I told her I loved her. I don't think I ever said it out loud before. She smiled at me. Her eyes weren't clear anymore. Mom and dad were still yelling. I'm the only one that heard what she said. "I'm going...frog." She never said anything else. It was a long time before I thought of going to the brook. Longer before I could do it. I'm sitting here now, telling you this. It hasn't changed. It should have. It's not the same though. Nothing is the same since Ellie left. My hands are messed up. The doctor said some things, but I think it's for good. I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore. There's still one thing I have to do though. I have Ellie with me. Just ashes in this cup thing. I thought the frog would like to see them. I thought he'd like to know. I thought he would understand. I'm holding him now. He doesn't look any different. Except... I don't think it's the same frog. It can't be. It has the clearest blue eyes. I tried to get the cup thing open. It's not easy, but that doesn't matter. It's empty. I know what Ellie felt. I know what Ellie believed. I have something to say and I mean it more than anything. I think that's what makes it work. There are things you can change. Ellie did. "I want to be a frog." It will take some time. I know that. They'll hear me. I tugged the frog into my shirt. I left the cup behind when I went for the house. I
think maybe the brook is deep enough, when it's time. They'll
hear me. They heard Ellie after all. ***END***
|