by Marlo Dianne

Ellie wasn't interested in popping right now though. Something in there had scared her, and it was up to me to go get it. I didn't want Ellie to see I was afraid. Big brothers were never afraid.

I pulled the poppies back in a rush, before I could chicken out. At first I didn't see anything. I thought Ellie might be teasing me, but it wasn't like her. I looked closer. There he was. He was crouched there low and trembling. I could see his little heart beating in his chest. Okay. A frog I could handle. Ellie didn't seem to share that idea.

"Kill it!"

"Ellie--"

"_Kill it_!"

I had picked the frog up. I didn't want to. He was wet and cold and all. But I wasn't going to kill him. I figured I just had to show Ellie how great he was. I turned around. She was even more horrified that I had touched it, but I didn't give up. She hadn't liked the water skidders either and now she'd cup them in her hands. She just had to be shown this stuff.

"Hey Ellie," I said, easy, even though her eyes were bigger than the poor frog, "you know what frogs eat?"

"Me," she squeaked.

I stuffed down a laugh. Ellie didn't need me to laugh at her. Everyone else did that. I was supposed to be different. "They eat flies, Ellie. Lots and lots of flies."

She stuck her tongue out and grabbed at her throat. "Gross!"

I grinned. I taught her that one. "Remember that big ugly fly that got you yesterday? Where'd he get you?"

Ellie pointed to a big red spot on her knee. She scratched it too.

"Well this little guy eats flies like that. The more he eats, the less will be around to bite you."

Ellie thought about this. "How does he eat them?"

"He's got a really big tongue," I told her, "it's sticky. He throws it out when a fly comes along. The fly sticks to it and he pulls it in."

Ellie was getting interested now. "What does he feel like?"

"Come see."

She crept over, her eyes keen on the movements of Mr Frog. He just seemed bored. Sleepy really. Ellie snaked her hand and her finger found his back.

"Soft," she said. From that moment on they were fast friends.

It wasn't long before Ellie was holding the frog for herself. I didn't think it would be happy in a squeeze all day. So I suggested she slide the little guy into the water so we could watch him swim. It wasn't long before she was having races between the boat and him. Finally, I had to admit it was time to go back and make supper. As usual, Ellie didn't complain. She just slid the frog back around the poppies and we were off. As I hauled on the screen door, Ellie tugged my sleeve. I looked down.
Ellie's blue eyes cut mine. "I want to be a frog."

I grinned and scooted her into the house. It was getting late. Dad would be home for supper soon.
The house was dark. Mom was off moaning in the bedroom. She was good and sloshed. She wasn't even making words. Ellie and I ignored her as usual. I started to make supper. I had gotten pretty good at it, the potatoes and all were ready by the time dad got home. Ellie and I had split one of the little ones. We ate it raw with a bit of salt. I watched for the car. It pulled in. I put the food on the plate and left it on the table. I picked out dad's face. It wasn't easy in the twilight. He wasn't happy. I grabbed Ellie and ran for our bedroom. I was hoping he'd leave me alone when supper was done.

Dad came in. I heard him toss off his shoes. I heard him pull out the chair and start to eat. My stomach rumbled and I punched it. I motioned for Ellie to crawl into bed. She nodded. We'd sleep in our clothes. We wouldn't be sleeping long. I shut my eyes and let the darkness take me somewhere else.

The screaming woke me up. I don't know what time it was. It was as black as oil. I couldn't see a thing. I could sure hear the yelling. I looked around for Ellie as my eyes started to adjust. She just laid there, still as anything. She was looking straight up at the ceiling. There wasn't any moonlight, but her hair was so pale it seemed to glow anyway. She had white hair. It was a blonde so light it had no colour at all.

As usual, I got used to the screaming. Maybe I was just too tired to care. I started to drift off again. I was almost there when I heard Ellie's soft whisper, "I want to be a frog."

Ellie's foot brought me back to the world again. I rubbed my eyes and tried to figure out what time it was. It was still dark, but Ellie was dressed. I looked outside. The car was there. The house was quiet. I just sat there for a minute, trying to figure out what to do. She pulled at my hands. I decided to risk it.

We got down to the brook in no time. There still hadn't been any crackers. Ellie hadn't complained, but I was thinking the weeds looked pretty good. I was still too afraid of poison to try eating one though. I felt dizzy. I sat down on the bank and watched Ellie play. She was looking for the frog. She dug around in the poppies and in the grass, but he wasn't there. I suggested she look in the water. There he was, sprawled out on the bottom. He wasn't swimming or anything, just hovering there. Ellie couldn't reach him, but she settled herself up to watch. He didn't move for a long time. She never did anything else either.

She asked how she could make him swim. I gave her a stick to swish in the water near him. She was real careful not to hit him. It made him swim though and Ellie was so happy that I wondered if the frog was going to be stuffed under her pillow from now on.

She asked me how he slept, how he played, and what he did when it was cold out. The questions came fast. I didn't know all the answers. I told her what I did know. She really liked the part about winter, how when it was real cold outside he'd dig a real deep hole and climb down in and cover himself up. He'd sleep all through winter like that. She thought that was wonderful.

She chewed her bottom lip. "Doesn't he get hungry?"

"He eats before he digs the hole."

It was time to go. I had the wash to do today too. Ellie tried to put the frog in her pocket. I told her he'd be scared away from home. She gave in, and kissed him before she left. I couldn't believe it. Ellie never even kissed me.

We hit home and I did up the stuff. We were in the room when dad came home, but he called us out. I went out ahead. He didn't look that mad. He said we could have some supper. We tried really hard not to stuff it in. It wasn't easy. Mom never left her room. I could hear a few whimpers, but that was it. I did up the dishes after supper. Ellie and I sat. Quiet. He told us to go to our room. We did.

We hit bed in our clothes again. At least we weren't hungry.